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  • Writer's pictureAmy Dougley

Connecting as a couple this summer!


The sun is shining, and the flowers are blooming,

The rain is dripping, and butterflies are dancing,

Birds are chirping and children are hopping,

Summer is nearing, and couples are asking... How do we stay connected?!


Summer is here! So are our children! They will be home and want to have a good time. To ensure that they have a good time, you may have planned exciting activities, healthy meals and snacks, travel plans, packing for trips etc. Did you take a moment to check in with yourself and your partner? Did you discuss your emotions and expectations with your partner during the summer? Take a minute to sit with your thoughts, process your emotions, and express them with your spouse/partner. This summer, it is equally crucial to look after your romantic relationship.


  • Why do we need to be within reach? Kids are home, time moves quickly, and we feel exhausted at the end of the day. When can we spend time together? Yes, it is difficult to find a moment, but it is also essential to share that moment with your partner. A few minutes spent with your partner can brighten your day and make you smile. Taking a moment to share your thoughts and emotions will aid you in working towards better communication while you're both busy with your own life and children. Spending quality time together will help to foster romance and intimacy.

  • What can we do to stay within reach? First and foremost, be comfortable with your emotions. Process and acknowledge your emotions. For example, ask yourself: "How are you feeling?" If the response is "tired," Sit down for a moment, acknowledge, and process your emotions. Discuss your feelings with your partner. Seek help from your partner if necessary. What do you anticipate from your partner? Take time to talk about it together. Be a listening ear for your partner and validate their emotions. Understand and endeavor to meet their expectations about staying connected. When your partner expresses their emotions, try to provide empathy. Some tips to stay connected:

  1. Quality time against screen time:  Do you use your phone or computer to browse, scroll, or watch TV when your children are resting or playing alone? Take a moment. Choose Carefully!!! If your partner is accessible, take advantage of this opportunity to spend time together.

  2. Frequent check-ins: Maintain frequent check-ins with your partner. Ask your partner how they are feeling. If one of you is gardening while the other is cooking, take a moment to talk in between. Plan and initiate your moment with each other. 

  3. Date nights: Who doesn't want a date night?! Date nights are a special way to validate your partner's efforts. Plan a date night where the two of you engage in the same recreational activity, either inside or outside of your home.

  4. Look for the beach:  Summer is the ideal season to choose a beach or a trail for a short walk. It will allow you to breathe fresh air alongside your partner. 

  5. Take a vacation: Plan a vacation away from your normal routine and domestic responsibilities. 

  6. Revisit the old road: To reminisce, play your favorite music and go through old images from trips, wedding, and fun times. It might be as basic as that, but it carries significant meaning. Do not discuss serious topics; instead, reminisce about past fun occasions!

  7. Decorate the cake with icing:  Prepare a surprise for your partner. Imagine going on a romantic evening with no stress or agenda other than to enjoy the moment. How light-weight it would feel!

  • How can we keep within reach?  Yes, you may have further ideas for staying connected. But, you're right, how do we do it? It is simple to plan, but difficult to accomplish. It might be difficult to find time to spend with your partner when the laundry is piling up or the garden needs attention. Be intentional and mindful in your daily routine to set aside time for you and your partner. Seek additional family help for child care. If your family isn't around, seek support from friends. If you have friends with children, take turns caring for children so you and your partner can enjoy a romantic night together. If your children are engaged in activities like soccer, swimming, hockey and can participate independently, take advantage of the opportunity to spend time together. Always remember that communication is the key! Make sure you convey your expectations to your partner. When your partner is communicating, pay close attention and actively listen. Concentrate on your own and your partner's feelings. Utilize opportunities to appreciate and validate your partner. Discuss and/or review your love language to stay connected this summer. For more information about Love Languages, see our previous blog https://www.pathwaystohope.ca/post/language-of-love-for-couples

 

Let the sun shine on you and your family so you can make the most of it.


Tanvi Dave Registered Social Worker at Pathways To Hope




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